Situation in Europe - The Valcono eruption

 

Great Excellent Lines...

A great dialogue from the TV series CHEERS...

The Theory of Intelligence   I don't think I've ever heard the concept explained any better than this. 'Well you see, Norm, it's like this . . . A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members. In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Now, as we know, excessive intake of alcohol kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first.    In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. And that, Norm, is why you always feel smarter after a few beers.'   Cheers!!!!!!!!

 

 

CFA Coaching in Hyderabad

CFA aspirants may find this to be useful

 

CFA(US) Level1 and 2 coaching centre in Hyderabad!!!

 

Who are we? We, Maneuver, are early movers in this space with a passion to be the primary destination for all aspirants who would like to explore this area for creating a lasting and satisfying career. MANEUVER’s main focus is providing quality Professional Certification Courses in Finance.

Based on our detailed market assessment we have commenced our program in Phase1 with the following Courses offered in our facility at Hyderguda

 

1. CFA (Chartered Financial Analyst, International)
2. CFP (Certified Financial Planner)
3. FRM (Financial Risk managers)

 

The Core Faculty members chosen very carefully, consist of eminent, qualified and well-known experts in the field of finance from all parts of the country. (PHD/MBA/MCA/CFA/FRM)

The experienced team of professionals is extremely familiar with the course content and is an expert at delivery. 

We are creating the latest platforms to allow you access to our Digital Course content and Tutorials with learning modules, Ensuring you REALLY learn the CONCEPTS –Well 

 

What we offer:

 

1. Concepts from the basics helping non-finance professionals to cope up.
2. We spoil the students with over 200 hours of classroom coaching.
3. Regular tests will be conducted to ensure you learn the concepts well.
4. Once a subject is finished the student is required to take a detailed subject test.
5. We hand over an Annual Report to the student after the initial few classes and as and when we keep completing the subjects students make a report on the company through the annual report.
6. Schweser notes would be provided to all students in class.
7. At the end of the curriculum we will conduct 3 full length Mock-Tests to help the students gain confidence.

 

Mr. Manish: Working with UBS for over 5 years this Economics Genius is a CFA level 2 graduate. He works under Mr.Bhanu Bhaveja, the greatest Economic Analyst. He gets with him the passion for teaching.

 

Mr. Deven: A CPA by qualification and a master at delivering Financial Statements and Equity Research. He is associated with Becker’s and carries tons of teaching experience.

 

Mr. Kiran: Team Manager with Accenture and a FRM and CAIA qualified with CFA level 2 behind his name. Very experienced in content delivery and gets all his industry experience to the students.

 

Mr. Ravi: A professor for the last 15 years with big B-schools like Aurora, ICFAI, IIPM etc. He is one of the best in town for Corporate Finance and Portfolio Management.

 

Mr. Merajuddin: A Cutting edge professional with a CFA level-2 and a FRM to his credit, this young man brings a different dimension to teaching. Pursuing Phd with Hyderabad Central University he wishes to conquer the finance domain with his knowledge and experience.

 

 

We invite all CFA Level-1 aspirants who wish to take the exam in June for a hi-tea on Sunday 18^th April, 2010 at 5.30 Pm at the address given below:

 

                1-3-361, Ground Floor, Beside Apollo Hospital.

                          Hyderguda, Hyderabad-500029.

                         Ph: 9052111130, 8125001130.

 

 

 

Best "Out-of-Office" replies

 

After IPL is Nationalized

After IPL is Nationalized

What will happen if IPL gets nationalized, let’s have a look,
1. Only DD1 will air it.
2. All Man of the match awardees will have to wait for one year to receive the award from president.
3. Cheerleaders will wear sarees and will do BharatNatyam.
4. The team that has fewer fans present in the stadium will get subsidies.
5. Holiday will be declared in the winning team's home state.
6. Captain and players will get OT for taking more time to complete overs.
7. There will be reservations for SC/ST/OBCs in all teams.
8. Cheerleaders will be in their sweet 50s waiting for retirements...just like IA air hostesses.
9. The Man of the Series will get Ambassador CNG series.
10. A new ministry will be created called IPL ministry.
11. Modi's son will take over from him.
12. Match tickets will be sold only in select SBI / SBM branches between 10 am and 3 pm.
13. Salaries of players will be as per "Pay Commission" recommendations.
14. The RCB team will be banned from playing on dry days and will have to bowl their last over by 10pm.
15. Kolkata KnightRiders will go on a 2 days strike. This will be the longest they ever keep strike.
16. Babus will ensure that all matches start after 11am and end before 5pm sharp.
17. A Maharashtrian political party will demand that 'mumbai indians' be changed to 'mumbai mumbaikars'. Ohh wait...
18. My neighbour uncle will get into some team in the senior citizen quota.
19. Tickets will be sold on the IRCTC website. Tickets on the waiting list would not be given admissions.
20. Arundhati Roy will cry foul & write 36 page essays on why the team that finished last should be declared the winners.
21. Ravindra Jadeja would get justice after 15 years, that too after throwing a shoe at Shilpa Shetty.
22. The Prime Minister will give his message to the nation before start of a season.
23. Spectators will throw chairs to umpires for wrong decision.
24. We will have two Strategic Bandh for 2.5 minutes in each innings.

 

A Picture is worth a thousand words!

 

Answers given by B.E student during viva

This is best answer by B.E students during viva. >---------------------> This one is for those who had nightmares during their Engineering Viva's (EEEs and ECEs). They bring back fond memories for those who care to smile at the


************************************************************************************************************
Interviewer: Why is a thicker conductor necessary to carry a current in A.C.as compared to D.C. ?
Candidate : An AC current goes up and down (drawing a sinusoid) and requires more space inside the wire, so the wire has to be thicker.

**********************************************************************************
External (to student) : "Why does a capacitor block DC but allow AC To pass through ?
Student: See, a capacitor is like this -| |-- , OK. DC comes straight, like this --------, and the capacitor stops it. But AC,goes UP, DOWN, UP DOWN and jumps right over the capacitor!" ------------------ good one : - )

**********************************************************************************
Interviewer: How will you tell if that wall outlet carries AC or DC?
Candidate: I will put my finger in. If it is pushed away, it is AC. If it gets stuck, it was DC.

**********************************************************************************
Interviewer: H! ow will you reverse direction of an Induction motor?
Candidate: I will remove the four bolts at the x-ud, turn the motor around, and put back the bolts.

**********************************************************************************
Interviewer: How do you start a synchronous motor?
Candidate: Vrrrrrrrmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm (in rising pitch)
Interviewer: Stop! Stop!
Candidate: rrrrrrrmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm (in falling pitch)

**********************************************************************************
Examiner: "What is a step-up transformer?"
Student: "A transformer that is put on top of electric poles."
Examiner (smiling): "And then what is a step-down transformer?"
Student (hesitantly): "Uh - A transformer that is put in the x-udment or in a pit?"
Examiner (pouncing): "Then what do you call a transformer that is installed on the ground?"
( Student knows he is caught-can't answer )
Examiner (impatiently): "Well?"
Student (triumphantly): "A stepless transformer, sir!"

************************************************************************************************************
Examiner: Do you know Ohm's Law???
Student: Sure Sir...
Examiner: Well...Narrate me...
Student: Which one Sir?? 1st or 2nd Law???
Examiner (getting shocked): How many Ohm's Law do you know???
Student (with confidence): Well sir...there are two Ohm's Laws…Every one knows...
Examiner (Smiling): Ok. Then tell me the 2nd one.
Student (thinking and thinking): Sir…I can't remember the entire law exactly...But the last portion of the law I can remember.
Examiner: Ok. You tell me the last portion only.
Student: Well sir. The last portion of the law tells like "This is called Ohm's Law" !!!!!!

 

 

IPL MOVIE - A CSK thought (perspective)

         

 

China Won't Stop - Excellent technology to get into train

The train that never stops at a station:   -   How to get on and off the non-stop high speed train!

A new Chinese train innovation - How to get on & off the bullet train without stopping.  VERY COOL CONCEPT!  No time is wasted. The bullet train is moving all the time. If there are 30 stations between Beijing and Guangzhou, just stopping and accelerating again at each station will waste both energy and time.   A mere 5 min stop per station (elderly passengers cannot be hurried) will result in a total loss of 5 min x 30 stations or 2.5 hours of train journey time!  The Chinese are innovative enough to come up with a non-stopping train concept. When the train arrives at a station, it will not stop at all.  The passenger at a station embarked onto to a connector cabin way before the train even arrives at the station. When the train arrives, it will not stop at all. It just slows down to pick up the connector cabin which will move with the train on the roof  of the train. While the train is still traveling away from the station, those passengers will board the train from the connector cabin mounted on the train's roof. After fully unloading all its passengers, the connector cabin will be moved to the back of the train so that the next batch of outgoing passengers who want to alight at the next station will board the connector cabin at the rear of the train roof.

 When the train arrives at the next station, it will simply drop the whole connector cabin at the station itself and leave it behind at the station. The outgoing passengers can take their own time to disembark at the station while the train had already left. At the same time, the train will pick up the incoming embarking passengers on another connector cabin in the front part of the train's roof. So the train will always drop one connector cabin at the rear of its roof and pick up a new connector cabin in the front part of the train's roof at each station.

NOW WATCH THE VIDEO........... 

 

 

Softwarism

Chandrababuism

You have two cows in Vijayawada. You hook them to internet and milk them from Hyderabad .

Jayalalithaism
You have two cows. You teach them to cry,"Ammaaaaaaa..."
and fall at your feet.

Karunanidhiism
You have two cows. You give one to your son and the other to your nephew ..
..
Gandhism
You have two cows. But you drink goat's milk.

Indiraism
You have two bulls. You adamantly consider them as cows.

Lalooism
You have two cows. You buy Rs. 900 Crore worth of cattlefeed for them.

Rajnikantism
You have two cows. You throw them into air and catch their milk in your mouth.

Sardarism
You have two cows. You paint them both to get colourful milk.

Softwarism: (Ultimate....)
Client has 2 cows and u need to milk them.
1 .. First prepare a document when to milk them (Project kick off)

2 .. Prepare a document how long you have to milk them (Project plan)

3 .. Then prepare how to milk them (Design)

4 .. Then prepare what other accessories are needed to milk them (Framework)

5 .. Then prepare a 2 dummy cows (sort of toy cows) and show to client the way in which u will milk them (UI Mockups & POC)

6 .. If client is not satisfied then redo from step 2
7 You actually start milking them and find that there are few problem with accessories. (Change framework)

8 .. Redo step 4

9 .. At last milk them and send it to onsite. (Coding over)

10. Make sure that cow milks properly ( Testing)

11. Onsite reports that it is not milking there.

12. You break your head and find that onsite is trying to milk from bulls

13. At last onsite milk them and send to client (Testing)

14. Client says the quality of milk is not good. (User Acceptance Test)

15. Offsite then slogs and improves the quality of milk

16. Now the client says that the quality is good but its milking at slow rate (performance issue)

17. Again you slog and send it with good performance.

18. Client is happy???

By this time both the COWs aged and cant milk.
(The software got old and get ready for next release
repeat from step 1) !!!!