Friday, May 22, 2009

The Best "Out-Of-Office" E-Mail Auto-Replies...

The Best "Out-Of-Office" E-Mail Auto-Replies:

1
:I am currently out at a job interview and
 will reply to you if I fail to get the position.

2:I'm not really out of the office.
 I'm just ignoring you.

3:You are receiving this automatic notification because
 I am out of the office. If I was in, chances are you wouldn't
 have received anything at all.

4:Sorry to have missed you but I am at the doctors having
 my brain removed so that I may be promoted to management

5:I will be unable to delete all the unread, worthless emails
 you send me until I return from vacation on 4/18.
Please be patient and your mail will be deleted
in the order it was received.

6:Thank you for your email. Your credit card has been
charged $5.99 or the first ten words and $1.99 for each
 additional word in your message.

7:The e-mail server is unable to verify
 your server connection
 and is unable to deliver this message.
 Please restart
your computer and try sending again.'

(The beauty of this is that when you return,

 you can see
 how many in-duh-viduals did this over and over).

8:Thank you for your message, which has been added to
a queuing system. You are currently in 352ND place, and
can expect to receive a reply in approximately 19 weeks.

9:Hi,I'm thinking about what you've just sent me.
 Please wait by you PC for my response.

10: Hi! I'm busy negotiating the salary for
 my new job. Don't bother to leave me any messages.

11:I've run away to join a different circus.

AND, FINALLY, THIS ONE TAKES THE CAKE:


12:I will be out of the office for the next 2 weeks for medical reasons.
When I return, please refer to me as
'Loretta' instead of 'Steve'

 

 

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