Your daily doze of laughter!!!!!!!!! [Men mostly]

WASHINGTON POST COMPETITION  ASKED FOR A  TWO-LINE  RHYME  WITH THE MOST ROMANTIC FIRST LINE, BUT THE LEAST ROMANTIC SECOND LINE 
                               
             
             This is the winner:- 
             
             My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife, 
             Marrying you screwed up my life. 
             
             I see your face when I am dreaming. 
             That's why I always wake up screaming. 
             
             Kind, intelligent, loving and hot; 
             This describes everything you are not. 
                                                   
             I thought that I could love no other -- 
             that is until I met your brother. 
             
             Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you. 
             But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl's empty and so is your head. 
             
             I want to feel your sweet embrace; 
             But don't take that paper bag off your face. 
             
             I love your smile, your face, and your eyes -- 
             Damn, I'm good at telling lies! 
             
             My love, you take my breath away. 
             What have you stepped in to smell this way? 
             
             My feelings for you no words can tell, 
             Except for maybe “'Go to hell.”' 
             
             What inspired this amorous rhyme? 
             Two parts tequila, one part lime :) :) :) :)