Find location of any mobile phone...

If you get number of missed calls and are worried which area mobile it
might be..
Just use..http://www.spgworld.com/Default.aspx to find the location

Thanks,

Its Awesome.....Do Not maximize the Screen after the website opens...

Its Awesome.....Do Not maximize the Screen after the website opens...

http://users.telenet.be/kixx/

Good Optical Illusions...

 

Are you going to Finish STRONG??

 

Deadly PJs ( U can't resist it )...

Deadly PJs....


Ek aadmi ki 6 ungliyan(6 fingers) hoti hain... sab log use "Hanuman" keh kar bulate hain... batao kyun???
.
.
.
.

.




ans:kyounki uska nam hanuman hai! JJ

-----------------------------------------------

Whats the opposite of Real??














Its COCONUT....





kya hua.... Confused??

jara .....Socho... yaar ???













opposite of real is 'Na-Real' . in English it is coconut JJ

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

what is the vector form of sridevi???? JJJJ
???
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
(u must have studied vector algebra to know its answer)
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?


ANS : - TABU!!!!

confused???? why????
.
.
.
.
.

.
.
.
ok i'l tell you...

.
.
.
. because.
.
.
.
.
.
. sridevi did chandni and tabu did chandni bar!!!!!

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

What would Dharmendra say to Hema Malini if he wants to tell her to
call him up...?

:...

:...

:...

:

Ring De Basanti :))
------------------------------------------------------------------------

A dentist was examining a patient having a highly contageous deadly
disease....
As soon he opens the patients mouth the disease gets transferred to the
doctor... how??












scroll







...Because the patient had a bluetooth!!
------------------------------------------------------------------

wat is one word in english for kiye karaye par paani ferna??

















flush!!


-------------------------------------------------------------



three cockroaches were going on the road, suddenly one of them started
singing the song -- AASHIQ BANAYA AAPNE.

Few mins later, all the three cockroaches died......any idea why?????







COZ the song is HIT......


---------------------------------------------------------


Bechari billi

why cudnt the dumb cat walk on road????









coz it cudnt mew and since MEW(coefficient of friction) = µ

so no friction, and its not possible walk on frictionless surface...

Burning of kurkure..

Folks,

Kurkure turns into a substance similar to when we burn plastic ( a well tested with the picks as proof)...so think hard before you eat next time....

 

 

THE BEST LAWYER STORY OF ALL TIME

 

The best lawyer story of all time....! The United Way realized that it had never received a donation from the city's most successful lawyer. So a United Way volunteer paid the lawyer a visit in his lavish office. The volunteer opened the meeting by saying, 'Our research shows that even though your annual income is over two million dollars, you don't give a penny to charity. Wouldn't you like to give something back to your community through the United Way?' The lawyer thinks for a minute and says, 'First, did your research also show you that my mother is dying after a long, painful illness and she has huge medical bills that are far beyond her ability to pay?' Embarrassed, the United Way rep mumbles, 'Uh... No, I didn't know that.' 'Secondly,' says the lawyer, ' did it show that my brother, a disabled veteran, is blind and confined to a wheelchair and is unable to support his wife and six children? The stricken United Way rep begins to stammer an apology, but is cut off again. 'Thirdly, did your research also show you that my sister's husband died in dreadful car accident, leaving her penniless with a mortgage and three children, one of whom is disabled and another that has learning disabilities requiring an array of private tutors?' The humiliated United Way rep, completely beaten, says, 'I'm so sorry, I had no idea.' And the lawyer says, 'So...if I didn't give any money to them, what makes you think I'd give any to you?

 

 

The Best "Out-Of-Office" E-Mail Auto-Replies...

The Best "Out-Of-Office" E-Mail Auto-Replies:

1:I am currently out at a job interview and
 will reply to you if I fail to get the position.

2:I'm not really out of the office.
 I'm just ignoring you.

3:You are receiving this automatic notification because
 I am out of the office. If I was in, chances are you wouldn't
 have received anything at all.

4:Sorry to have missed you but I am at the doctors having
 my brain removed so that I may be promoted to management

5:I will be unable to delete all the unread, worthless emails
 you send me until I return from vacation on 4/18.
Please be patient and your mail will be deleted
in the order it was received.

6:Thank you for your email. Your credit card has been
charged $5.99 or the first ten words and $1.99 for each
 additional word in your message.

7:The e-mail server is unable to verify
 your server connection
 and is unable to deliver this message.
 Please restart
your computer and try sending again.'

(The beauty of this is that when you return,
 you can see
 how many in-duh-viduals did this over and over).

8:Thank you for your message, which has been added to
a queuing system. You are currently in 352ND place, and
can expect to receive a reply in approximately 19 weeks.

9:Hi,I'm thinking about what you've just sent me.
 Please wait by you PC for my response.

10: Hi! I'm busy negotiating the salary for
 my new job. Don't bother to leave me any messages.

11:I've run away to join a different circus.

AND, FINALLY, THIS ONE TAKES THE CAKE:


12:I will be out of the office for the next 2 weeks for medical reasons.
When I return, please refer to me as 'Loretta' instead of 'Steve'

 

 

=============================================================================

 

If u like Art

 

If u like Art Contd...

 

If u like Art Contd...

 

If u like Art Contd...

 

If u like Art Contd...

 

When Birds go wild!!!!...

 

Punjab Police: What a 'touching' moment !!!

 

Uffffff... Hadd Hai.. Sach Me..

Doctor to patient: You will die within 2 hours. Do you want to see any one before you die?
Patient: Yes. A good doctor..


Q: How do you make a sardarji laugh on Saturday?
A: Tell him a joke on Wednesday.
Sardar: I think that girl is deaf..
Friend: How do u know?
Sardar: I told I Love her, but she said her chappals are new


Friend: I got a brand new Ford IKON for my wife!
Sardar: Wow!!! That's an unbelievable exchange offer!!!


Teacher: Which is the oldest animal in world?
Sardar: ZEBRA
Teacher: How?
Sardar: Bcoz it is Black & White

(Best one)
Sardar got a sms from his girl friend: "I MISS YOU"
Sardarji replied: "I Mr YOU" !!.


After finishing MBBS Sardar started his practice. He Checked 1st Patient's Eyes, Tongue & Ears By Torch & Finallly Said: "Torch is okay"

Sardar in airplane going 2 Bombay .. While its landing he shouted: " Bombay ... Bombay "
Air hostess said: "B silent."
Sardar: "Ok.. Ombay. Ombay"
Teacher: "What is common between JESUS, KRISHNA , RAM, GANDHI and BUDHA?"
Sardar: "All are born on government holidays...!!!

Sardar: Miss, Do u called 2 my mobile?
Teacher: Me? No, why?
Sardar: Yesterday I saw in my mobile- 1 Miss Call".
(Had never thought of it)
Sir: What is difference between Orange and Apple?
Sardar: Color of Orange is orange, but color of Apple is not APPLE

Short and Sweet

As a daily habit Pintu was reading newspaper.

 

Suddenly he asked his father, " Dad! What does it mean by 'Governance

System' ? "

 

"It's like..." father said while thinking, "See! I earn and bring money to

home, mean's I am a 'Money Holder'. Your mother decides where and how to

spend that money and that means she is 'Government'. That maid in our home

is doing all the household works, so she will be 'Labour Class'. You are a

'Common man' or 'Public'. Your kid brother is 'Future' or the 'Next

Generation', understand?".

 

That day Pintu slept with all those thoughts. In the middle of the night he

woke-up because his kid brother was crying. He wetted the matrices so he

was crying. Pintu went to woke-up his mother. She was in deep sleep so

Pintu went to the Maiden's room to wake her up. But there his father was

sleeping with the maid. So he came back with frustration.

 

Next morning father asked Pintu, " Hey Pintu Darling! You understood the

'Governance System'? ".

 

Pintu replied, "Yeah Dad, I understood! When Money Holder is exploiting

Labour Class, our Government is sleeping. Future of our nation is crying

for not getting their basic needs fulfilled and in all this Common Man is

suffering!"

  

 

 

 

This is how God created humans and beasts.... but things changed :-(

 

This is funny but Indian

A first grade teacher explains to her class that she is an

American.

She asks her students to raise their hands if they were American

too.

Not really knowing why but wanting to be like their teacher, their

hands

explode into the air like flashy fireworks.

There is, however, one exception.

A girl named Gita has not gone along with the crowd.

The teacher asks her why she has decided to be different.

"Because I am not an American." replied Gita.

"Then", asks the teacher, "What are you?"

"I'm a proud Indian," boasts the little girl.

The teacher is a little perturbed now, her face slightly red. She

asks Gita

why she is an Indian.

"Well", my mom and dad are Indians, "so I'm an Indian too."

The teacher is now angry. "That's no reason", she says loudly "if

your mom

was an idiot, and your dad was an idiot, what would you be then?"

A pause, and a smile.

"Then" says Gita, "I'd be an American."

 

 

This particular joke won an award for the best joke competition

This particular joke won an award for the best joke competition Organized in Britain: A man walks into a bar in London and ordered 3-glasses of beer and sits in the backyard of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn. When he finishes, he comes back to the bar counter and orders 3 more. The bartender asks him, 'You know, beer goes flat after I fill it in the glass; it would taste better if you buy one at a time.' The man replies, 'Well, you see, I have two brothers. One is in Dubai , the other in Canada and I'm here in London . When they left home, we promised that we'll drink this way to remember the days when we drank together. The bartender admits that this is a nice custom and leaves it there. The man became a regular in the bar, and always drinks the same way. He order 3-Beers and drinks them in turn. One day, he came in and ordered only 2-Beers All the other regulars notice and fall silent. When he comes back to the bar for the second round, the bartender says,' I don't want to intrude on your grief, but I wanted to offer my sincere condolences on your great loss. ' The man  looked confused for a moment, then he laughs .... 'Oh, no,' he, said, 'Everyone's fine - both my brothers are alive' . ' The only thing is ............... ............... ............... ............... ............ ... ............... ............... I just quit drinking!!!

 

for all Sachin lovers :-)

@Hashim Amla
"Nothing bad can happen to us if we're on a plane in India with Sachin
Tendulkar on it."
Hashim Amla, the South African batsman, reassures himself as he boards a
flight

@yaseer hameed

"Sometimes you get so engrossed in watching batsmen like Rahul Dravid
and
Sachin Tendulkar that you lose focus on your job."

"To Sachin, the man we all want to be"
- What Andrew Symonds wrote on an aussie t-shirt he autographed
specially
for Sachin

Beneath the helmet, under that unruly curly hair, inside the cranium,
there
is something we don't know, something beyond scientific measure.
Something
that allows him to soar, to roam a territory of sport that, forget us,
even
those who are gifted enough to play alongside him cannot even fathom.
When
he goes out to bat, people switch on their TV sets and switch off their
lives "
BBC on Sachin

But the finest compliment must be that bookmakers would not fix the odds
-
or a game - until Tendulkar was out.

"Tuzhe pata hai tune kiska catch chhoda hai?" Wasim Akram to Abdul
Razzaq
when the latter dropped Sachin's catch.

@Brian Charles Lara
Sachin is a genius. I'm a mere mortal.

Mark Taylor
"We did not lose to a team called India...we lost to a man called
Sachin" -
Mark Taylor, during the test match in Chennai (1997)

@M. L. Jaisimha:
"The more I see of him the more confused I'm getting to which is his
best
knock."

@McGrath
"The joy he brings to the millions of his countrymen, the grace with
which
he handles all the adulation and the expectations and his innate
humility -
all make for a one-in-a-billion individual,"

@Wife Anjali
"I can be hundred per cent sure that Sachin will not play for a minute
longer when he is not enjoying himself. He is still so eager to go out
there and play. He will play as long as he feels he can play,"

HAYDEN
he said
"I HAVE SEEN GOD, HE BATS AT NO.4 FOR INDIA"

"Even my father's name is Sachin Tendulkar."
Tendulkar's daughter, Sara, tells her class her father's name after the
teacher informs them of a restaurant of the same name in Mumbai

KUMBLE : I am fortunate that I've to bowl at him only in the nets!

@ shahrukh
quoting Shahrukh from an interview
Que: Who do you think as most important celebrity ?
Shahrukh: There was a big party where stars from bollywood and cricket
were
invited. Suddenly, there was a big noise, all wanted to see approaching
Amitabh Bachhan.
Then Sachin entered the hall and Amitabh was leading the queue to get a
grab of the GENIUS!!

@Navjot Singh Sidhu
India me aap PrimeMinister ko ek Baar Katghare me khada kar sakte
hain..Par
Sachin Tendulkar par Ungli nahi utha Sakte..

@waqar younis
He can play that leg glance with a walking stick also .

A banner once said-' I WILL SEE GOD WHEN I DIE BUT TILL THEN I WILL SEE
SACHIN ' that quiet defines Sachin-The greatest.

Sachin Tendulkar has often reminded me of a veteran army colonel who has
many medals on his chest to show how he has conquered bowlers all over
the
world -- Allan Donald

And i remember reading in one of Allan Donald's interview. This
interview
was in Cricket Talk and 7-8 yrs ago.

I was bowling to Sachin and he hit me for two fours in a row. One from
Point and the other in between point and gully. That was the last two
balls of the over and the
over after that we (SA) took a wicket and during the group meeting i
told Jonty (Rhodes) to
be alert and I know a way to pin Sachin. And i delivered the first ball
of my next over
And it was a fuller length delevery outside offstump. And i shouted
catch. To my
astonishment the ball was hit to the cover boundary. Such was the
brilliance of Sachin. His
Reflex time is the best i have ever seen. Its like 1/20th of a sec. To
get his wicket better not
prepare. Atleast u wont regret if he hits you for boundaries.

Peter Rebouck - aussie journalist
On a train from Shimla to Delhi, there was a halt in one of the
stations.
The train stopped by for few minutes as usual.
Sachin was nearing century, batting on 98. The passengers, railway
officials, everyone on the train waited for Sachin to complete the
century.
This Genius can stop time in India!!

NKP Salve, former Union Minister
This was when he was accused of ball tempering
"Sachin cannot cheat. He is to cricket what (Mahatma) Gandhiji was to
politics. It's clear discrimination."

Andy Flower:
There are 2 kind of batsmen in the world. One Sachin Tendulkar. Two all
the
others.

Management Lessons

Lesson 1:
 
   A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings.
   The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbor.
   Before she says a word, Bob says, "I'll give you $800 to drop that towel, "
   After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob After a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves.
   The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs.
   When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, "Who was that?"
   "It was Bob the next door neighbor," she replies.
   "Great," the husband says, "did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?"
 
   Moral of the story
   If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time,you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.
 
 
 *********
 
   Lesson 2:
 
   A priest offered a Nun a lift. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg. The priest nearly had an accident. After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg.
   The nun said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?"
   The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again.
   The nun once again said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?"
   The priest apologized "Sorry sister but the flesh is weak."
   Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily and went on her way.
   On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129 It said, "Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory."
 
 
   Moral of the story
   If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity.
 
 
 *********
 
   Lesson 3:
 
   A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out.
   The Genie says, "I'll give each of you just one wish."
   "Me first! Me first!" says the admin clerk. "I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world."
   Puff! She's gone.
   "Me next! Me next!" says the sales rep. "I want to be in Hawaii, relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life."
   Puff! He's gone.
   "OK, you're up," the Genie says to the manager.
   The manager says, "I want those two back in the office after lunch."
 
   Moral of the story
   Always let your boss have the first say.
 
 
 *********
 
   Lesson 4:
 
   An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing. A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing?"
   The eagle answered: "Sure , why not."
   So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.
 
   Moral of the story
   To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.
 
 
 *********
 
   Lesson 5:
 
   A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree," sighed the turkey,"but I haven't got the energy."
   "Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the bull.
   They're packed with nutrients."
   The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree.
   The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch. 
   Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree. He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.
 
   Moral of the story
   BullShit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.
 
 
 *********
 
   Lesson 6:
 
   A little bird was flying south for the Winter.It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field. While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him. As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was. 
 The dung was actually thawing him out! He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy.
   A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate.
   Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.
 
   Morals of this story
 
   (1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.
 
 
   (2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.
 
   (3) And when you're in deep shit, it's best to keep your mouth 
 shut!

Ajeet and Raaabert jokes ;)

AJIT: Robert, isko Great Wall of China le jaakar phansi mein laga
do,great 'wall hanging' ban jayegi

AJIT:Robert is ko microprocessor may daal do !Bit by bit mar jaayga gaa
saala!

AJIT:Robert is ko liquid oxygen may daal do !Liquid issay jeenay nahi
day gaa, oxygen issay marnay nahi day gaa!

AJIT:Robert, Dayna (Diana) ko thoda khatta khila do, yeh dayna se
daynasour bhi ho jayegi, phir extinct bhi...

AJIT:Robert, isey thodi shampane pila do, paheley shame sey, phir pane
sey mar jayegaa...

AJIT:Robert, isey peekak paisan pila do, yeh more sey no-more ho
jayegaa...

AJIT:Mona daarrling, tum Toni ke saath ghuumna band kar do, nahin to
bahut MonaToni ho jayegee...

AJIT:"Robert, Harshad Mehta the Bull ka stool test karaao"
"Kyon boss?""Pata to chale akhir ye Bullshit kya hota hai"

AJIT: Maikal, ise liquid helium mein daal ke 440 V pass kar do.Phir yeh
superconductor ban jaayega, aur zindagi bhar ticket kaat-ta reh jaayega
.Maikal: Baaas, yeh aadmi to kuch bol hi nahin raha hai. Kya karen ?
Ajit: Ise revaalving chair mein daal do.Pata chal jaayega chakkar kya
hai.

Robert: Boss , Sona kahan hai ? ( Where is the Gold ? )
AJIT: Kahin par bhi so jao Robert !!

(Scene - Robert gets a sidey to Ajit.)
Robert: Boss, humne sidey ko pakad liya
AJIT:Ise maar ke pulees station ke saamne rakh do. Aur iske badan par ek
sui chubha do.
Robert: Par sui kyon, baass!
AJIT:Bewakoof! Pulees yeh samjhegi ki sui-cide hua hai!

Robert: Boss, mere teen bacche hue. Unko kya naam doon?
AJIT:Ek ka naam rakhna Peter, doosre ka Maikal,aur teesre ka Cha Ling
Chu .
Robert: Par Cha Ling Chu kyoon?
AJIT:Bewakoof, duniya ka har teesra bacchaa Chinese hota hai!

(Scene - Ajit thoroughly disgusted with Mona daaa..arrling' s typing.)
AJIT:Raaberrt, Mona ke dono hathon ko kaat do.
Robert: Magar kyoon baas ?
AJIT:Typing to nahi atee, kamsekam shaarthand to seekh legi.

AJIT:Robert, in kutton ke saamne yeh Compooter laga do aur debugger
istarrt kar do.
Robert: Lekin kyoon, baas?
AJIT:Saale Checkpoint mein atak jayenge.

AJIT:Robert, Test Match mein kyaa ho raha hai ?
Robert: Boss, Vivian Richards chhakke pe chhakke maar raha hai.
Ajit: Saaleh ko sabak sikhana padega.Lunch break mein usse phone milana.
Robert: Yes Boss.AJIT: (on phone, to Richards): Veeveeyun
Reechards,tumhari Maa hamare kabze mein hai .......

(Scene - Giving a decision as to how the hero should be killed.)
AJIT:Peter, time bomb le aao aur is kutte ko usse bandh do.Timer ko
theek das baje set kar do.Nahin nahin, yeh saala to sub cheez hamesha
late karta hai.Iski maut bhi late honi chahiye. Timer ko panch minute
late rakh do.Arre, Robert, Robert, bevkoof, silly fellow, time bomb ko
yahan peh mat rakho, yeh to 'no-smoking' area hai. Ha haa ha.Time bomb
'tic tic tic tic' karke bajega.Aur iska dil 'tup tup tup' karke
dhadkega.Tum agar paas me khade hoge to tumko 'tic tup tic tup tic
tup'suanaai dega ..."

(Scene - Ajit ordering his chela to kill the enemy.)
AJIT: "Robert, Ise varnish mein daal do,saala mar bhi jaayega aur finish
bhi ho jaayega.

Bob: Boss, mission par kaise jaaoon, mujhe headek ho raha hai.
AJIT: Abe head ek ho ya do, kaam to karna hi padegak.!

(Scene - Ajit ordering his chela to kill the enemy.)
AJIT: "Robert, Isss Haramzaade ko social security pe daal do.Saale ko
Society jeene nahin degi aur security marne nahin degi.

(Scene - Robert and Ajit are in a boat. The boat suddenly springs a hole
and water starts coming inside. Robert is perplexed !)
Robert: Boss ab kya hoga ??
AJIT:Robert Ek aur hole bana do, aur ek hole me IN aur doosre me OUT
likh do. Ek hole se paani ander aayegaaur doosre se bahar chala jayega
!!

(Scene - Ajit get's hold of his favourite hero & then directs his
chela.)
AJIT: Maikal, Is saale ke ek haath mein laal aur doosre haath mein hara
rang laga do.
Maikal: Lekin kyon baas?
AJIT:Bewakoof, itnaa bhi nahin jaanta? Jab pulice yehaan aayegi to ise
rangehaathon pakad legi. he he he....

Robert: Boss, ye ladki ne hamari saab bate sun li. Is ladki ka kya kiya
jaye?
Ajit: Robert, ees ladki ko maar do, aur iski choli par do traps laga do.
Robert: vo kyon boss?
Ajit: Bevakuf, jub police ko laDki ki laash milegi to police samje gi ke
laDki booby trap ho kar mar gayi!!

(After a local bad guy crosses Ajit)
Ajit: Robert, ees aadmi ko maar Dalo aur ees ki laash ke saath aek kela
(banana) aur thoDa milk rakh do.
Robert: vo kyon boss?
Ajit: Aare bavekuf, jub police ko lash milegi to police samajegi ke koi
cereal killer ne eeska khoon kiya hey.

(Ajit is really pleased with the dinner at a restaurant and wants to
compliment and reward the chef)
Ajit: Robert, ye chef ne aachha khan banaya. Tum ees ke ghar jao aur ees
ke ghar ki bell nikal do. Bell ki jagah tum peas rakh do
Robert: vo kyon Boss?
Robert: Bevekuf, men ees ko no-bell pea sur prize dena chahta hun

Ajeet: Rabert! isko eraser se maar do, yeh mar bhi jayega aur mit bhi
jayega

Robert: Boss! Aaap ko kaun si teen chiz sabse jahyahda pasand hein boss?
Ajeet: Ek Mona, Doosra Sona, aur Tisra, Mona ke saath Sona
Peter: Boss? Sona kahan hei?
Ajeet: Tum chahe jahan bhi sona, lekin mujhe to Mona darling ke saath
sona!

(Ajeet spots one of his is enemies)
Ajeet: Maikal, woh jo admi ghadi pahne tumhe nazar aarahaa hai, woh
hamara mehman hai. Tum ja kar uske doosre hath mein bhee gadhi pahna
do...phir woh do ghadi ka mehman ho jayega !

(Ajeet is escaping with his men in a helicopter)
Ajeet: Kuch hee der mein hamara helicopter hindustan ki sarhadon ke pare
door birmingham mein hoga. Wahaan tumhe ek kaale rang ki sioorlett
(cheverlett) nazar aayegi. Wo tumhe signal degee...on.. off..on.. off
Robert : Boss..hamara signal kya hoga ?
Ajeet : bewkoof...off. .on..off. .on...
Robert: aur boss..iska kya karen ?
Ajeet:Ise hamlet poison khilado...sochta rahega, to be or not to be !

Robert: Boss, mere dono bachon ke liye koi naam bataiye..
Ajeet :Ek ka naam rakho Peter.... Robert: boss or doosre ka ?
Ajeet: Repeater.

(Robert and Ajeet go for shikar.Robert spots a peacock...)
Robert: Boss....more. . more...
(Ajeet picks up the peacock, shoots it )
Ajeet : Nomore !

Marital Woes

Marital Woes


Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends.
You order what you want, then when you see what the other person has,
you wish you had ordered that.
<http://funlok.com/index.php/humor/marital-woes.html>

*********

Man: Is there any way for long life?
Dr: Get married. <http://funlok.com/index.php/humor/marital-woes.html>

Man: Will it help?
Dr: No, but the thought of long life will never come.
<http://funlok.com/index..php/humor/marital-woes.html>

*********

Why do couples hold hands during their wedding?
<http://funlok.com/index.php/humor/marital-woes.html>

It's a formality just like two boxers shaking hands before the fight
begins! <http://funlok.com/index..php/humor/marital-woes.html>

*********

Wife: Darling today is our anniversary, what should we do?
<http://funlok.com/index.php/humor/marital-woes.html>

Husband: Let us stand in silence for 2 minutes..
<http://funlok.com/index.php/humor/marital-woes.html>

*********

It's funny when people discuss Love Marriage vs Arranged.
<http://funlok.com/index.php/humor/marital-woes.html>

It's like asking someone, if suicide is better or being murdered
<http://funlok.com/index.php/humor/marital-woes.html>

*********

It is difficult to understand GOD. He makes such beautiful things as
women and then he turns them into Wives
<http://funlok.com/index.php/humor/marital-woes..html>

*********

If u r married please ignore this MSG,
<http://funlok.com/index.php/humor/marital-woes.html>

For everyone else: Happy Independence Day
<http://funlok.com/index.php/humor/marital-woes.html>

*********

Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about something
you say. <http://funlok.com/index.php/humor/marital-woes..html>

After marriage, he'll fall asleep before you finish.
<http://funlok.com/index.php/humor/marital-woes.html>

*********

There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic
banking. It's called marriage
<http://funlok.com/index.php/humor/marital-woes.html>

*********

Galfriends r like chocolates,
Taste gud anytime. <http://funlok.com/index.php/humor/marital-woes.html>

Lovers r like PIZZAS, Hot n spicy, eaten frequently.
Wife r like Dal RICE, eaten when there`s no choice
<http://funlok.com/index.php/humor/marital-woes.html>

*********

Man receives telegram: Wife deadshould be buried or cremated?
<http://funlok.com/index.php/humor/marital-woes.html>

Man: Don't take any chances. Burn the body and bury the ash.
<http://funlok.com/index.php/humor/marital-woes.html>

*********

Prospective husband: Do you have a book called 'Man, The Master of
Women'? <http://funlok.com/index.php/humor/marital-woes..html>

Salesgirl: The fiction department is on the other side, sir.
<http://funlok.com/index.php/humor/marital-woes.html>

*********

Q: Why dogs don't marry?
<http://funlok.com/index.php/humor/marital-woes.html>

A: Because they are already leading a dog's life!
<http://funlok.com/index.php/humor/marital-woes.html>

*********

There was this guy who told his woman that he loved her so much that he
would go through hell for her. They got married and now he is going thru
hell. <http://funlok.com/index.php/humor/marital-woes.html>

*********

Fact of life: One woman brings you into this world crying & the other
ensures you continue to do so for the rest of your life!
<http://funlok.com/index.php/humor/marital-woes.html>

*********

Q: Why doesn't law permit a man to marry a second woman?
<http://funlok.com/index.php/humor/marital-woes.html>

A: Because as per law you cannot be punished twice for the same
<http://funlok.com/index.php/humor/marital-woes.html> offence!

__._,_..___

IPL Cartoons....