SOFTWARE ENGINEERING - WATERFALL MODEL
Thursday, January 28, 2010
30-second Speech by Bryan Dyson
VERY SHORT , MOST EFFECTIVE AND HOW TRUE
30 second Speech by Bryan Dyson
"Imagine life as a game in which you are juggling some five balls in the air. You name them - Work , Family , Health , Friends and Spirit and you're keeping all of these in the Air.
You will soon understand that work is a rubber ball. If you drop it, it will bounce back.
But the other four Balls - Family, Health, Friends and Spirit - are made of glass. If you drop one of these; they will be irrevocably scuffed, marked, nicked, damaged or even shattered. They will never be the same. You must understand that and strive for it.
Friday, January 22, 2010
Golden School Days..- Light moments of the Day-GS !!!
3 idiots song............................
Saari umr hum
office mein mar gaye
Ek pal to ab humein jeene do
jeene do
Saari umr hum
office mein mar gaye
Ek pal to ab humein jeene do
jeene do
Na na na....Na na na....Na na na....Na na nana na....
Give me some flight
Give me some train
Give me another chance
I wanna go home once again
Give me some flight
Give me some train
Give me another chance
I wanna go home once again
Kandhon ko laptop
Ke bojh ne jhukaya
Client se jhoot bolna tho khud
Manager ne sikhaya
> 3 rating laaoge to chhuti, varna kismat futi
Kaam kar kar ke pada Ungaliyon pe
REVIEW, SCREEN aur REWORK ka chaala
Is Project ne to sala poora..
Poora bheja pakka daala
Career to gaya
GF bhi gayi
Ek pal to ab humein
jeene do jeene do
Career to gaya
GF bhi gayi
Ek pal to ab humein
jeene do jeene do
Saari umr hum
office main jee liye
Ek pal to ab humein jeene do
jeene do
Na na na....Na na na....Na na na....Na na nana na....
Give me some flight
Give me some train
Give me another chance
I wanna go home once again
Give me some flight
Give me some train
Give me another chance
I wanna go home once again
Na na na....Na na na....Na na na....Na na nana na
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
Brick Recruitment !!!!!!
Its Interesting....
HOW TO RECRUIT THE RIGHT PERSON FOR THE JOB?
Put about 100 bricks in some Particular order in a closed Room with an Open window.
Then send 2 or 3 candidates in
The room and close the door.
Leave them alone and come back
After 6 hours and then analyze
The situation.
If they are counting the
Bricks.
Put them in the accounts
Department.
If they are recounting them..
Put them in auditing ..
If they have messed up the
Whole place with the bricks.
Put them in engineering.
If they are arranging the
Bricks in some strange order.
Put them in planning.
If they are throwing the
Bricks at each other.
Put them in operations .
If they are sleeping.
Put them in security.
If they have broken the bricks
Into pieces.
Put them in information
Technology.
If they are sitting idle.
Put them in human resources.
If they say they have tried
Different combinations, yet
Not a brick has
Been moved. Put them in sales.
If they have already left for
The day.
Put them in marketing...
If they are staring out of the
Window.
Put them on strategic
Planning..
And then last but not least.
If they are talking to each
Other and not a single brick
Has been
Moved.
Congratulate them and put them
In Top management
Monday, January 18, 2010
Top 22 things an Indian may do after returning to India from "US"
Top 22 things an Indian may do after returning to India from "US".
22. Use Nope for No and Yep for Yes.
21. Tries to use credit card in road side hotel.
20. Drinks and carries mineral water and always speaks of health conscious.
19. Sprays deo such so that he doesn't need to take bath.
18. Sneezes and says 'Excuse me'.
17. Says "Hey" instead of "Hi".
Says "Yogurt" instead says "Curds".
Says "Cab" instead of "Taxi".
Says "Candy" instead of "Chocolate".
Says "Cookie" instead of "Biscuit".
Says " Free Way " instead of "Highway".
Says "got to go" instead of "Have to go".
Says "Oh" instead of "Zero", (for 704, says Seven Oh Four Instead of Seven Zero Four)
16. Doesn't forget to crib about air pollution. Keeps cribbing every time he steps out.
15. Says all the distances in Miles (Not in Kilo Meters), and counts in Millions. (Not in Lakhs)
14. Tries to figure all the prices in Dollars as far as possible (but deep down the heart multiplies it by 40).
13. Tries to see the % of fat on the cover of a milk pocket.
12. When need to say Z (zed), never says Z (Zed), repeats "Zee" several times, if the other person unable to get, then says X, Y Zee(but never says Zed)
11. Writes date as MM/DD/YYYY, on watching traditional DD/MM/YYYY, says "Oh! British Style!!!!"
10. Makes fun of Indian Standard Time and Indian Road Conditions.
9. Even after 2 months, complaints about "Jet Lag".
8. Avoids eating more chili (hot) stuff.
7. Tries to drink "Diet Coke", instead of Normal Coke.
6.. Tries to complain about any thing in India as if he is experiencing it for the first time.
5. Pronounces "schedule" as "skejule", and "module" as "mojule".
4. Looks suspiciously towards Hotel/Dhaba food.
Few more important
3. From the luggage bag, does not remove the stickers of Airways by which he traveled back to India , even after 4 months of arrival.
2. Takes the cabin luggage bag to short visits in India, tries to roll the bag on Indian Roads.
Ultimate one:
1.. Begins every conversation with "In US ...." or "When I was in US..."
Best Divorce Letter!!
Dear Hubby,
I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you forever. I've been a good woman to you for 7 years & I have nothing to show for it. But, these last 2 weeks have been hell.
Your boss called to tell me that you quit your job today & that was the last straw. Last week, you came home & didn't even notice that I had a new haircut, had cooked your favorite meal, & even wore a brand new pair of silk dress. You ate in 2 minutes & went straight to sleep after watching all of your games. You don't tell me you love me anymore; you don't want anything that connects us as husband & wife. Either you are cheating on me or you don't love me anymore; whatever the case, I'm gone!!
Your Ex-Wife
P.S.: Don't try to find me. Your BROTHER & I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life!
--
Dear Ex-Wife,
Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter.
It's true that you & I have been married for 7 years, although a good woman is a far cry from what you've been. I watch my games so much because they drown-out your constant whining & griping (too bad that doesn't work). I DID notice when you got a hair cut last week, but the 1st thing that came to mind was 'You look just like a boy!' Since my mother raised me not to say anything, if you can't say something nice, I didn't comment. And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY BROTHER, because I stopped eating pork 7 years ago. About those new silk dress: I turned away from you because the $49.99 price tag was still on them, & I prayed it was a coincidence that my brother had just borrowed $50 from me that morning. After all of this, I still loved you & felt we could work it out. So when I hit the lotto for $10 million, I quit my job & bought us 2 tickets to Jamaica. But when I got home you were gone. Everything happens for a reason, I guess.
I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you won't get a dime from me.
So take care.
Signed,
Your Ex-Husband, Rich As Hell & Free!!
P.S.: I don't know if I ever told you this, but my brother Carl was born as Carla (woman)..... ....I hope that's not a problem!!
Sunday, January 17, 2010
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