Wednesday, April 6, 2011

HOW TO RECRUIT THE RIGHT PERSON FOR THE JOB?

HOW TO RECRUIT THE RIGHT PERSON FOR THE JOB? 

Put about 100 bricks in some Particular order in a closed Room with an Open window. 

Then send 2 or 3 candidates in 
The room and close the door. 

Leave them alone and come back 
After 6 hours and then analyze 
The situation.

If they are counting the Bricks. 
Put them in theaccounts 
Department. 

If they are recounting them.. 
Put them in auditing .. 

If they have messed up the 
Whole place with the bricks. 
Put them in engineering.

If they are arranging the
Bricks in some strange order. 
Put them in planning

If they are throwing the 
Bricks at each other. 
Put them in operations . 

If they are sleeping. 
Put them in security. 

If they have broken the bricks 
Into pieces. Put them ininformation 
Technology. 

If they are sitting idle. 
Put them in human resources


If they say they have tried 
Different combinations, yet 
Not a brick has Been moved. 

Put them in sales. 

If they have already left for 
The day. 
Put them in marketing...

If they are staring out of the 
Window. Put them onstrategic 
Planning.. 

And then last but not least. If they are talking to each Other and not a single brick Has been Moved. 

Congratulate them and put them In 

Top management

10 things to learn from Japan.

10 things to learn from Japan.

1. THE CALM
     Not a single visual of chest-beating or wild grief. Sorrow itself has been elevated.

2. THE DIGNITY
     Disciplined queues for water and groceries. Not a rough word or a crude gesture. 

3. THE ABILITY
     The incredible architects, for instance. Buildings swayed but didn't fall.

4. THE GRACE
    People bought only what they needed for the present, so everybody could get something.

5. THE ORDER
    No looting in shops. No honking and no overtaking on the roads. Just understanding. 

6. THE SACRIFICE
    Fifty workers stayed back to pump sea water in the N-reactors. How will they ever be repaid?

7. THE TENDERNESS
    Restaurants cut prices. An unguarded ATM is left alone. The strong cared for the weak.

8. THE TRAINING
     The old and the children, everyone knew exactly what to do. And they did just that.
 
9. THE MEDIA
     They showed magnificent restraint in the bulletins. No silly reporters. Only calm reportage.
 
10. THE CONSCIENCE
      When the power went off in a store, people put things back on the shelves and left quietly!

Gilani & Manmohan


Waiting for her husband


Cricket Diplomacy... Enjoy.. :)


Friday, March 18, 2011

Best Divorce Letter!!

Best Divorce Letter!!!

 


Dear Hubby,
I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you forever.  I've been a good woman to you for 7 years & I have nothing to show for it.  But, these last 2 weeks have been hell.
Your boss called to tell me that you quit your job today & that was the last straw.  Last week, you came home & didn't even notice that I had a new haircut, had cooked your favorite meal, & even wore a brand new pair of silk dress.  You ate in 2 minutes & went straight to sleep after watching all of your games.  You don't tell me you love me anymore; you don't want anything that connects us as husband & wife. Either you are cheating on me or you don't love me anymore; whatever the case, I'm gone!!
Your Ex-Wife
P.S.:  Don't try to find me.  Your BROTHER & I are moving away to West Virginia together!  Have a great life!

 


--

 


Dear Ex-Wife,

Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter.
It's true that you & I have been married for 7 years, although a good woman is a far cry from what you've been.  I watch my games so much because they drown-out your constant whining & griping (too bad that doesn't work).  I DID notice when you got a hair cut last week, but the 1st thing that came to mind was 'You look just like a boy!'  Since my mother raised me not to say anything, if you can't say something nice, I didn't comment.  And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY BROTHER, because I stopped eating pork 7 years ago.  About those new silk dress:  I turned away from you because the $49.99 price tag was still on them, & I prayed it was a coincidence that my brother had just borrowed $50 from me that morning. After all of this, I still loved you & felt we could work it out.  So when I hit the lotto for $10 million, I quit my job & bought us 2 tickets to Jamaica.  But when I got home you were gone.  Everything happens for a reason, I guess.
I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted.  My lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you won't get a dime from me.
So take care.
Signed,
Your Ex-Husband, Rich As Hell & Free!!

 

P.S.:  I don't know if I ever told you this, but my brother Carl was born as Carla (woman)..... ....I hope that's not a problem!!

When 'Oh Shit' is the Correct Word!


Bus Stops around the world...



--
Thanks and Regards
Vinod Gupta


Have First Look at New Indian Coin



Have First Look at New Indian Coin

Photos 2010


Interesting Facts...

1. If you are right handed, you will tend to chew your food on your right side. If you are left handed, you will tend to chew your food on your left side.
2. If you stop getting thirsty, you need to drink more water. For when a human body is dehydrated, its thirst mechanism shuts off.
3. Chewing gum while peeling onions will keep you from crying.
4. Your tongue is germ free only if it is pink. If it is white there is a thin film of bacteria on it.
5. The Mercedes-Benz motto is "Das Beste oder Nichts" meaning "the best or nothing". 
6. The Titanic was the first ship to use the SOS signal.
7. The pupil of the eye expands as much as 45 percent when a person looks at something pleasing.
8. The average person who stops smoking requires one hour less sleep a night.
9. Laughing lowers levels of stress hormones and strengthens the immune system. Six-year-olds laugh an average of 300 times a day. Adults only laugh 15 to 100 times a day.
10. The roar that we hear when we place a seashell next to our ear is not the ocean, but rather the sound of blood surging through the veins in the ear.
11. Dalmatians are born without spots.
12. The 'v' in the name of a court case does not stand for 'versus', but for 'and' (in civil proceedings) or 'against' (in criminal proceedings).
15. The owl is the only bird to drop its upper eyelid to wink. All other birds raise their lower eyelids.
16. The reason honey is so easy to digest is that it's already been digested by a bee.
17. Roosters cannot crow if they cannot extend their necks.
18. The color blue has a calming effect. It causes the brain to release calming hormones.
19. Every time you sneeze some of your brain cells die.
20. Your left lung is smaller than your right lung to make room for your heart.
21. The verb "cleave" is the only English word with two synonyms which are antonyms of each other: adhere and separate.
22. When you blush, the lining of your stomach also turns red.
23. When hippos are upset, their sweat turns red.
24. The first Harley Davidson motorcycle was built in 1903, and used a tomato can for a carburetor.
25. The lion that roars in the MGM logo is named Volney.
26. Google is actually the common name for a number with a million zeros.
27. Switching letters is called spoonerism. For example, saying jag of Flapan, instead of flag of Japan.
28. It cost 7 million dollars to build the Titanic and 200 million to make a film about it.
29. The attachment of the human skin to muscles is what causes dimples.
30. There are 1,792 steps to the top of the Eiffel Tower.
31. The sound you hear when you crack your knuckles is actually the sound of nitrogen gas bubbles bursting.
32. Human hair and fingernails continue to grow after death.
33. It takes about 20 seconds for a red blood cell to circle the whole body.
34. The plastic things on the end of shoelaces are called aglets.
35. Most soccer players run 7 miles in a game.
36. The only part of the body that has no blood supply is the cornea in the eye. It takes in oxygen directly from the air.
37. Every day 200 million couples make love, 400,000 babies are born, and 140,000 people die.
38. In most watch advertisements the time displayed on the watch is 10:10 because then the arms frame the brand of the watch (and make it look like it is smiling).
39. Colgate faced big obstacle marketing toothpaste in Spanish speaking countries. Colgate translates into the command "go hang yourself."
40. The only 2 animals that can see behind itself without turning its head are the rabbit and the parrot.
41. Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair.
42. Do you know the names of the three wise monkeys? They are: Mizaru (See no evil), Mikazaru (Hear no evil), and Mazaru (Speak no evil)
48. Two animal rights protesters were protesting at the cruelty of sending pigs to a slaughterhouse in Bonn. Suddenly the pigs, all two thousand of them, escaped through a broken fence and stampeded, trampling the two hapless protesters to death.

49. If a statue in the park of a person on a horse has both front legs in the air, the person died in battle; if the horse has one front leg in the air, the person died as a result of wounds received in battle; if the horse has all four legs on the ground, the person died of natural cause.
50. The human heart creates enough pressure while pumping to squirt blood 30 feet!!

Monday, March 14, 2011

Improve Self Confidence


he main point is if you want to have a healthy self confidence there are many things which one can do to boost your self-confidence.
one important point is that this self-esteem is not fixed. It can always be improved.
One can try some of the steps below to boost your confidence and self esteem.

  1. Identify Your Success : Everyone is good at something, so first of all find out what things you are great at that is at what points you Excel, then focus on your talents. Give yourself time to develop pride in them. Give yourself credit for your success. Inferiority is a state in which you declare yourself to be a victim. Dont allow yourself to be victimized.
  2. Look in Mirror and Smile: The expression on one's face encourage the brain to develop certain emotions. So by looking in the mirror and smiling every day, one might feel happier and more confident in the long run.
  3. Exercise and have Healty Food: Exercise raises adrenaline and makes one feel happier and healthier. It is certainly an easy and effective way to boost your self-confidence.
  4. Turn feelings of envy or jealousy into a desire to achieve
  5. When feeling insecure, Write down a list of things that are really good about yourself. Read it back. One will be surprised what he/she can come up with.
  6. Don't be afraid to push yourself a bit.- a little bit of pressure can actually show just how good you are!
  7. Purchase some new cloths as per the latest trend and while wearing them don't think that you might be looking awkward.
  8. Try to talk positively at most of the times.
So these are some of the ways which i think if one follows he can definitely improve upon his Confidence and self-Esteem.

Healthy College Life!

X is you and C is your Conscience.

Morning!

C: Wake up, it’s late. Time is 8.00
X: It’s just 8.00
C: College at 8.30?
X: I can be 10 mins late to class!
C: You are already 10 mins late.
X: Come on, it will just take 5 mins to get ready and 5 mins to commute. Will sleep till 8.30
C: Just 5 mins to get ready?? You have to Bath
X: huh.. Bath?? How is it going to make a difference?
C: Brush?
X: Mint..
C: Whhhaat??
X: Orbit White
C: Atleast wash your face?
X: No, anyway going to sleep in class.
C: Then, why go to class?
X: Attendance
C: But it takes atleast 10 mins to eat?
X: Food?
C: Yes, breakfast
X: Can’t afford to waste time on that
C: When will you eat?
X: I will have brunch.
C: What the hell is that?
X: I will break my fast at lunch
C: It’s not good for health
X: Come on, 3 hours is not going to make any difference
C: You are spoiling your health
X: Get Lost! Let me sleep

Lunch Time!

C: It’s already half an hour into lunch
X: So?
C: Have your brunch
Y (friend of X): Hey, give your observation?
X: For what?
Y: To copy.
X: To copy what?
Y: Experiments for next hour lab?
X: Lab next hour, SHIT!!
Y: What?
X: Even I should write.
C: You should eat!
X to C: I know.
X to Y: Will you write for me? I have to eat
Y: Get Lost
C: You should eat!
X to C: Wait!
X to Y: Atleast, will you eat for me?
Y: Whhaat????
X: I am sorry!
C: You should eat!
X: Will eat after the lab
C: It’s not good for health
X: Just 2 more hours. I will survive.
C: You are spoiling your health
X: Get Lost! Let me write!

Evening

C: The lab is over, you have to eat
X: Yup! Going to Canteen!
C: Good.
X at Canteen: One Lime Juice
C: Lime Juice???
X: Yeah, Why?
C: How will that be enough?
X: Nothing else tastes good here
C: But you haven’t eaten your breakfast and lunch
X: So what?
C: You need to have some solid food
X: Will eat during dinner
C: You are spoiling your health!
X: Get Lost! Let me drink!

Exams!

C: Time is 12 AM
X: So?
C: You should start studying atleast now
X: Exam is only at 9 in the morning
C: You have got only 2-3 hours to study
X: Do you ever know math? I have 9 hours
C: But you have to sleep?
X: Sleeeep?
C: Yes, Sleep atleast for 6 hours
X: I am taking a Night out!
C: What? You are going out? Now?
X: Night out means no sleep
C: But you have to sleep
X: I have lots to read
C: Then start?
X: After this game
C: When will you sleep!
X: After the exam.
C: You are spoiling your health
X: Get Lost! Let me play!

Exam Morning

C: Starting now?
X: Yeah
C: You have 1 hour
X: Haven’t read the last 2 chapters
C: So?
X: Will go and hear stories from friends
C: Breakfast?
X: Wwack!!
C: What?
X: I am tensed!
C: So?
X: If I eat I will vomit
C: How are they related?
X: It’s like that
C: You didn’t sleep, you should atleast eat
X: Don’t talk about food! It makes me feel sick
C: You are spoiling your health!
X: Get Lost! Let me go!

After the Exam
Y (friend of X): Hey, coming to play Cricket?
X: Ofcourse
C: Cricket??
X: Yeah, Why?
C: You have to sleep
X: Come on, I have to play
C: You didn’t sleep last night
X: I need to relax after exam.
C: Atleast you have to eat
X: Yeah Lime Juice.
C: That’s not enough
X: Never mind
C: It’s so hot
X: So?
C: Without food and sleep, you will feel giddy under this sun
X: I am not pregnant
C: Pregnant?
X: Only pregnant people feel giddy
C: You should eat and sleep 

X: No
C: You are spoiling your health!
X: Get lost! Let me play !

Crush

X At Canteen: Shit!
C: What?
X: She is there
C: Who?
X: She
C: So?
X: I like her so much
C: Crush?
X: No, Love
C: Love?
X: Yeah, I love her
C: her?
X: Yes
C: [murmur]Love is blind!
X: What?
C: Nothing
X: Whenever she is around I feel something is happening inside me?
C: What is happening?
X: Like butterflies in stomach
C: That’s acidity. You have to eat!
X: My heart beats so fast
C: You are weak. You have to eat
X: I want to keep looking at her
C: First, finish eating
X: Wait!
C: Eat!
X: She is going
C: Where are you going?
X: To tell a Hi
C: Food?
X: Who cares?
C: You are spoiling your health
X: Get Lost!

Possessiveness

X: I saw her talking to him
C: Who?
X: Her
C: So?
X: I feel bad
C: For what?
X: I love her
C: Feeling bad for that?
X: No
C: Then?
X: Feeling possessive
C: Why?
X: She was talking to him
C: So?
X: I feel bad when she talks to someone else
C: Why is that?
X: She is mine!
C: Does she know that?
X: Stop it!
C: Ok, Eat and sleep
X: I don’t feel like eating
C: Why?
X: I am worried
C: Eat something light
X: No, leave me alone
C: Ok, Sleep atleast
X [at 1 AM]: Hey
C: What?
X: She is mine right?
C: Ofcourse, sleep now
X [at 3 30 AM]: Hey
C: Whaat?
X: What were they talking about?
C: How will I know?
X: Tell me
C: Maybe studies
X: hmmm
C: Please sleep now
X [at 5 30 AM]: If it was about studies why was she giggling?
C: Oh dear, come on, you have to sleep atleast now
X: I am not getting any sleep at all.
C: It’s not good for your health.
X: She will love me right?
C: Yeah. Why not? Sleep now.
X [at 7 30 AM]: May be she likes him
C: You never slept?
X: No
C: Don’t worry, everything will be alright
X: No, I think she likes him
C: [murmur] Good for her
X: What?
C: There will be nothing like that
X: No, she surely likes him
C: Now eat breakfast
X: I don’t feel like
C: You are spoiling your health!

X: Get Lost!

After a couple of years!!

X: I feel like vomiting
C: May be you are tensed!
X: Something is happening in my stomach
C: Butterflies? May be you are in love!
X: It’s paining a lot
C: May be there are bees! Not butterflies
X: I feel giddy
C: May be you are pregnant??
X: …

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