Teacher: 'A' for?
Student: Apple !!!
Teacher: Jor Se Bolo
Student: JAI MATA DI
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Once upon a time, Sada and Ada, visited a coal mine to find some diamonds.
Sada takes a right and Ada turns left.
Sada has only a shovel, but Ada had sophisticated diamond mining tools.
Yet, Sada finds a diamond but Ada doesn't (even after digging for 10 kms) !!!
Why ??
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Kyonki...Hira hai Sada ke liye!!!
Ram ne Sita se Vivaah kiya,
Ravan ne Sita ka Apaharan kiya,
Hanuman ne Sita ko Bachaya,
To ab ye Batao ki Vastav mein Hero Kaun Hai?
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Scroll down for the answer
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Sanjay Dutt !!! :-)
SAWAL theek se padho !
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Ek baar ek aadmi ek auto mein baithta hai aur ghar le jaane ko bolta hai..
Autowala, yeh dekhkar ki aadmi sheher mein naya hai, bahut ghuma phira ke le jaata hai aur bahut charge kar deta hai.
Ghar pahunchte pahunchte bahut der ho jaati hai aur andhera ho jaata hai.
Aadmi pehle se hi bahut frustrated hai aur ghar jaake dekhta hai ki bijli nahi hai.
Par aadmi ko sab kuch saaf saaf dikhayee deta hai.
Kaise???
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Kyonki autowala aadmi ko ULLOO bana deta hai aur usko raat ko sab kuch saaf saaf dikhta hai.
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Ek baar ek aadmi ne badi tapasya ki.
shivji khush .
Prakat hue ...
bole ...
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puttar maang ...
maang kya chahiye tujhey !
bakth utha ...
bole shivji ...
mujhey to aap sirf ek guitar de do !
shivji bole kaisa gadha hai ?
unhone kaha ... puttar ...
tuney badi achchi tapsya ki hai ...
kuch bada maang !
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wo fir bola ... nahi ji ..mujhey to aap guitar hi do
shivji ne phir samajhaya .. abey .. kuch dhang ka maang ...!
par wo to ada hi hua tha ... bola nahi ... aap to mujhey guitar hi do !
shivji usey bade pyaar se khopch me lekar samjhane lage ...
bole ..yaar tu
kuch aur maang .. guitar
na maang ...
wo bola ... nahi nahi nahi !! mujhey sirf guitar hi chahiye
... ab
shivji gussey main aa gaye ... boley ,(scroll down)
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saale .. agar guitar mere paas hota to main ye damaru kyo
bajata :)
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1) Smoking
2) Drinking
3) Charas
4) Ganja
5) Chicken
6) Mutton
7) Oily food
8) Masala
9) Sleep & obesity
10) Pollution
= Heart Attack
Matlab
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scroll down
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DUS bahane karke le gaye DIL !!
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Do you know why the name of Madras was replaced by
Chennai???
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Think......
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Think..
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Bit more.......
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Because...a Madrassi wears lungi and there is no zip means
chen..nai...
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What's this?
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AnekTA me ekTA
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Ek baar Chunnu class main baitha hota hai aur Masterji usse sawal poochte hain.
"India ke Capital ka Naam Batao?"
Chunnu bahut sochta hai, bahut sochta hai, aur jab thak jata hai to bolta hai.
"Masterji Nahin Pata"
Masterji gusse se laal peele ho jate hain aur Chunnu ko class se bahar nikaal dete hain.
Chunnu chalta chalta pricipal ke office ke samne se gujarta hai to principal use dekh leta hai aur poochta hai ki baahar kyon ghoom raha hai. Chunnu batata hai ki masterji ne India ka capital nahin batane ke liye class se nikaal diya.
Principal ko bhi bada gussa aata hai. Vo Chunnu ko school se nikaal deta hai.
Ab Chunnu bhatakta bhatakta diili ki sadkon main ghum raha hota hai ki Prime Minister vahan se gujarte hain aur Chunnu se poochte hain ki school time main kyon ghum raha hai. Chunnu sab bata deta hai. Sunte hi Prime Minister bhi ekdum aag babula ho jate hain aur Chunnu ko India se nikaal dete hain.
Bhichara Chunnu rota rota Sri Lanka pahuch jata hai. Vo vahan ek sadak cross kar raha hota hai ki ek car se uska accident ho jata hai.
Ab Bato ki is Story Ka Moral kya hai?
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Pahle Dayen Dekho, Phir Bayen Dekho, Phir Road Cross Karo!!!!
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ek aadmi ki 6 ungliyan (6 fingers) hoti hain... sab log use "Hanuman"
keh kar bulate hain... batao kyun??? .
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Ans: kyounki uska naam Hanuman hai!!!!
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How to catch a Lion
Newton's Method
Let, the lion catch you.
For every action there is equal and opposite reaction.
Implies you caught lion.
Einstein Method
Run in the direction opposite to that of the lion.
Due to higher relative velocity, the lion will also run faster and will get tired soon. Now you can trap it easily.
Software Engineer Method
Catch a cat and claim that your testing has proven that its a Lion. If anyone comes back with issues tell that you will upgrade it to Lion.
Indian Police Method
Catch any animal and interrogate it & torture it to accept that its a lion.
Rajnikanth Method
Keep warning the lion that u may come and attack anytime. The lion will live in fear and die soon in fear itself.
Ramarajan Method
Remove the make-up and put it over lion. The lionwill die notwithstanding that heavy weight.
Jayalalitha Method
Send Police commissioner Muthukaruppan around 2AM and kill it, while it's sleeping !
Manirathnam Method (director)
Make sure the lion does not get sun light and put the lion in a dark room with a single candle lighted.
Keep murmuring something in its ears. The lion will be highly irritated and commit suicide.
Karan Johar Method (director)
Send a lioness into the forest. Our lion and lioness fall in love with each other. Send another lioness in to the forest, followed by another lion.
First lion loves the first lioness and the second lion loves the 2nd lioness. But 2nd lioness loves both lions. Now send another lioness(third) into the forest.
You don't understand right... ok....read it after 15 yrs, then also u wont !
Yash Chopra method (director)
Take the lion to Australia or US.. and kill it in a good scenic location.
Govinda method
Continuously dance before the lion for 5 or 6 days.
Menaka Gandhi method
save the lion from a danger and feed him with some vegetables continuously.
George Bush method
Link the lion with Osama bin laden and shoot him!!!
Ravi Shastri method
Ask the lion to bowl at u. U bat for 200 balls and score 1 run
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Arzz hai
Do Tarah ki hoti hai "JAVA"
Wah Wah..... Wah Wah
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Do Tarah ki hoti hai "JAVA" ..............
Lafjon ko samjhiye ...... Gaur kijiye
Do Tarah ki hoti hai "JAVA"..............
Bahot Khub......
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Bhaijaan - Do hi Tarah ki hoti hai "JAVA" ..............
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Mar "JAVA" , Mit "JAVA"
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Whats difference between a man jumping from 1st floor and a man jumping from
10th floor?
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Former goes Dhaap AAAAAaaaaaaaaa
Later goes AAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa Dhaap
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Other than being fruits, what is common between an Apple and an Orange?
think......
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socho socho
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the answer is ..........
They Both Are Not a Banana !!
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Q. The Madrasi said, I want to see the movie 'heart is umbrella'.
Which movie did he really want to see?
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Dil Chhata Hai!
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A hen and her 3 little chickens were trying to cross a busy highway.
After great efforts they all managed to cross it. One of the little ones yells out happily-
"Wow....after so much efforts, all 5 of us managed to cross"....
Q). Why does the little one say "all 5 of us" ????
Think a little bit ....... Its easy !
SCROLL DOWN FOR THE ANS........
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ANS:
ARRE BACHCHE HAIN ...
KUCH BHI BOL DETE HAIN ...
unko ginti kaha aati hai …
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Q) What is the cube of 13?
A) Its : SUROOR
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Wondering How?
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That's bcoz....
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TERA * TERA * TERA = SUROOR
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Why did the girl changed her name from Shruti to Shraxis?
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Socho… kyun….. ???
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Aur thoda socho
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Ans: Because UTI bank is now Axis bank
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